Time, Time, Time

I have been thinking a lot about time these days. How long it takes to accomplish some things, waiting for results and answers, busy time, creative time, resting time. Time all about the time... Having a conversation with John Mark about being busy and having things you want to do versus things you think you "must" do. Interesting response to my post on FaceBook that got me thinking even more. My comment was about taking the time out to do something that feeds your soul, heart, mind and body BEFORE you do all the supposed "shoulds". That would allow you to re-charge and dive into those things you "have" to do with more energy, enthusiasm, light and just more YOU.

I got a couple of responses from people who said they didn't even know what feeds them. I know this response, I was this response. If you had asked me a couple of years ago to tell you what my hopes and dreams were and to write them down I would maybe be able to have given you 2 things if it was a good day. We are so "busy" that we have forgotten to listen to our hearts. We spend our days leading with our heads, sending our energy forward out into the world, multi-tasking and running on the gerbil wheel of life. Taking time out to do yoga is too much pressure for some people. Let me tell you that those are the people who need to do yoga the most. Without taking the time out for quiet, for listening to your body, your heart and your spirit you are denying the true essence of who you are as a person. Your heart truly holds all the answers to who you are, what your hopes and dreams are and what moves you.

In our society is all about rush, do this, do that, accomplish this, deadline that, over schedule ourselves and our loved ones. We don't know how to be quiet, to let the body relax, how to actually breathe deeply into our body. I watch new comers to yoga during savasana, or final relaxation and I can always tell the too wound up people right away. For one thing they have trouble keeping their eyes closed, how about an eye pillow, you don't have to work so hard at closing the eyes and the weight of it is relaxing. Then there are the finger movers, either tapping the floor or racing the thumb around all 4 of the fingers. You know who you are out there, yes you do. We have forgotten how to release the body even for 7 minutes of guided relaxation and focus on the breath, dive deep into your heart and release. Consistency is key, patience with yourself and your space that you are in right in this moment.

Making time for yourself, whether it be a yoga class or something else that you love doing means honoring and loving yourself enough to dedicate time each day to your own well-being. Here is a good one, serving ourselves is a part of serving others. What permission to serve myself, did she just say that? Yes, yes I did. It is only when we make the time to take care of ourselves that we can then have more abundant energy to give to others and to our hearts desires. What a concept huh?

I find it difficult some days to make the time for my own personal yoga practice or to go for my daily walk. I set unrealistic goals for myself and berate myself for not being focused enough or getting my "LIST" accomplished. Being self employed my days are my own to set and I build my days around my yoga teaching schedule. Sometimes I am scattered and not focused. It seems to be happening enough lately that I have caused some concern with a close friend. I am in the category of being hormonally challenged. I know some of you know what I am talking about. I am myself but not sometimes. I get fuzzy, can't concentrate and then later realized I forgot something I knew full well and totally blanked it out. I was reading about menopause in a naturopathic care book today. Being overwhelmed is one of the symptoms, hmmm I don't see it always as overwhelmed anymore. I had a therapist explain that she felt overwhelmed meant swept away. Ok so keeping that in mind, I don't feel swept away but I feel like I am carrying a big heavy trunk on my back and it is digging in between my shoulders and I am worrying about it messing up my brand new tattoo. I feel the weight of all I have to do, be, accomplish and then there is the worry and the FEAR! Yes I said fear, in all caps too. Heavy, weighs heavy I know. I have learned to lean into it and move beyond it but life will never be about eliminating it. I know there are days when the hormones are not attacking my very being and I am bright, energetic and kickin ass and taking names. There seems to be lately a lot days where the challenge of hormones makes me weepy at stupid commercials and tired and lethargic. I struggle to make it through my day and I accomplish sometimes nothing. Being self employed that scares the crap out of me honestly.

So my goal is to try to ease up on myself and remember I am only one person and everything will all still be there. Yes, John Mark, time is always there, we move through it like we move through a room. There are days like yesterday when my beautiful Gilly Hicks lacy panties are all in a bunch and let me tell you that is not an attractive look in yoga pants. I have wonderful friends who support me, uplift me, cajole and love me. Sometimes they threaten to get out the bat. Hey that's my line!! But it is all done out of love and care and I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful people in my life. Then comes the hard work, I have to pull those panties up and get them unbunched on my own and find my center once again. I go for a walk and talk to myself and hear and see the words that my friends have given me, listen to my music and as a friends mother used to say, "Get outside and blow the stink off you".

I take time out even with things pressing down and remember that I need to take better care of myself, I need to eat well, get enough rest and sleep and most importantly listen to my deepest heart. I head to my mat, close my eyes and let me breath slow and deepen, feel my shoulders draw down my spine and ground my weight down into my sit bones. Feel that deep sense of being rooted and grounded into the energy of the earth, draw that energy up my spine and fall into that space of breath and motion. Moving slowly through my practice at first and faster as I feel the motion. I work out the kinks, open those tight spaces where I habitually hold on and relax my face and jaw and feel my center deep and strong. At the end I take the time to relax in savasana and continue to focus on my breath and then dive deep into my heart and ask what is it I need to know in this moment. I don't judge or provide commentary just let whatever floats up move right up to the top. This moment, this time, this breath it carries everything I need to know right now. Then I know that when I get up off my mat that I have something to carry with me as I move through the rest of my day. I do better on some days than others but I still go back to that mat and I still take whatever I learned off the mat with me. The days I don't make the time to do that are the days I struggle most I have discovered.

So I challenge you my readers out there in cyber land, what is one thing you can do for yourself to find your way to yourself. I know it's hard and asking you to do it daily if you don't already is setting you up to fail. So, try to make time for yourself at least every other day and see if you notice a difference on the days you don't. What are you needing to learn from that. What can you take away from the days that you do make time, whether it is just to put your feet up for half an hour and watch your favorite show or read a magazine or whatever it is that brings you some joy, a smile to your face, lightness to your heart? What have you put on the shelf because you are too busy and maybe needs to be pulled down and dusted off? Can you spend 5 minutes with your eyes closed and find your deepest breath and relax your face and jaw and belly so that your breath moves even deeper. Try this, close your eyes, put your right hand on your heart, your left hand on your low belly below your belly button and breathe. Breathe all the way down into your belly, relax your face and jaw, let your tongue drop down into the bottom of your mouth and soften all the way to the top of your throat. Relax your shoulders down your spine and when your mind wants to wander draw it back to your breath. Notice how your body moves your breath, how your breath moves your body and really BREATHE..... It's good right?

Namaste,
Sherry